A Familiar Pattern

Written by Administrator

He was an attractive dark gentleman in his late thirties, and his chart had chapter after chapter of the same pattern. He'd stop using the meds, the symptoms would return to the point that he became a danger to himself or others, he'd be hospitalized, get out stable on meds, and then eventually discontinue them and repeat the cycle.

Unfortunately, today was the point in the cycle where he had stopped the meds, couldn't sleep, and was watching himself being consumed by the paranoia and the voices. He was miserable, deteriorating before my eyes, but wasn't yet to the point where he could be hospitalized against his will.* That meant that I was stuck there with him, unable to do what needed to be done until he crossed "that" line.

You see, the one thing he feared, hated, even more than the horrors currently flooding his mind, was having to admit that he couldn't control them, that he was "crazy," that he had some sort of terrible flaw and wasn't strong enough to fix it, and needed to be stuck in the "looney bin."

So, we wait. I'm doing my best to let him know that I'm supportive and want to help him get through this, but I'm not sure he'll take my word over those screaming in his head..

*Some therapists play games with this one, using the hallucinations themselves as grounds for locking someone up against her or his will for an indefinite period of time. It's like putting someone in jail because there's a probability that they "might" commit a crime. In both cases it's unethical, immoral, and illegal.